Quit letting people control you

*Cue applause and walk in music*

Hi my beautiful you(s), I'm literally so excited to be back and blogging. Took some much needed time off and I'm bringing actual, well deserved content to you guys because you deserve the best. Today's topic is on "control". In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it's easy to fall into the habit of allowing others to control our actions, thoughts, and decisions. We often find ourselves seeking validation, approval, and direction from those around us, inadvertently surrendering our autonomy and power in the process. But what if we could break free from this cycle? What if we could reclaim our own agency and become the architects of our own lives?

In this blog post, I invite you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. It's time to break the chains of external influence and embrace the incredible potential within you. By examining the various ways in which people exert control over us, we'll shed light on the underlying mechanisms that keep us trapped. More importantly, we'll explore actionable strategies and mindset shifts to help you reclaim your independence and chart a course that aligns with your true desires.

Whether it's overbearing family members, manipulative friends, demanding bosses, or even societal expectations, we'll delve into the sources of control that often go unnoticed or unchallenged. You'll gain a deeper understanding of how these influences impact your life, limiting your growth, happiness, and fulfillment. But don't worry, this isn't about pointing fingers or assigning blame; it's about recognizing the patterns and developing the strength to break free.

Together, we'll explore practical tools and techniques that empower you to take back control of your life. We'll dive into the power of setting boundaries, cultivating self-awareness, and fostering authentic connections. With each step, you'll discover the liberation that comes from honoring your own needs, desires, and values.

It's time to reclaim your voice, your dreams, and your choices. Let's embark on this transformative journey together, as we learn to quit letting people control us and step into our true power. Are you ready? Let's dive in.

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When people control you, you feel lost and disconnected from your decision making process. Some people won't like you and some people won't like your choices either. You don't have to let their opinions affect how you feel or act. Feeling bad about yourself based on what someone said shows how much power they have over you. When you decide it's okay to put your happiness and life in the hands of someone else you have given them the same power to make you miserable.

It's an "unconscious decision born out of the need to feel loved". They are scared of being alone basically, because they do not want the other person to leave them. They do these things to be loved and not out of love.

When we are so scared of speaking up for ourselves, afraid to say no, even when we are so choked with activities, or you just can't seem to make decisions without checking with what the other person has to say, then you are letting people control you.

How do we quit?

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Say No when you have to, no one will kill you. When you do this the first time, the person will be taken aback and might even try to guilt trip you or play victim but it is important to stand your ground except it's a life or death situation, then maybe we can take exceptions.

Set priorities and differentiate them from boundaries. When someone is #1 in your life doesn't mean your world and existence revolves around that person. Establish clear boundaries that this person may or may not be aware of.

"You're more than diamonds, more than gold". Increase your self esteem and self worth. Do you know how amazing you are? A queen, a literal queen (sorry to the guys, I just have to talk to my girls a bit). Why would a queen let someone, a random person rob them off their mental health. Does that make sense? Do not reduce your standards for anyone or anything. 

Whose life is this? It's yours, not mine, not theirs. If it doesn't belong to anyone else but you, why should they have a say about what decisions you make or how you decide to act or who you decide to be. (I am not advocating against bad behaviour. Don't twist my words, lol)

You have to make a decision to become your own person. People would look and treat you, the same way you look and treat yourself. That is the algorithm of life. 

*insert motivational chant lol* Actually, you should have one, something you say to yourself everyday because it actually goes a long way. 

We have come to the end of today's gist. Make sure you share, it's not that hard, the button is below. 

Love,

Ugo.